Book Reflection: “Wintering” by Katherine May – Learning to Rest, Retreat, and Listen to Your Body

As the days get shorter and the air cools, I’ve found myself reaching again for Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May. It’s one of those books that feels like a deep breath, gentle, steady, and full of permission to slow down.

May writes about “wintering” as both a season and a metaphor, those times in life when things quiet down, fall apart, or simply demand rest. It could be a loss, a big transition, or even a stretch of emotional exhaustion that forces you to stop running on autopilot. Rather than pushing through, Wintering invites us to lean into these moments, to see rest and retreat not as failures, but as necessary parts of being human.

The Seasons Within Us

As a therapist, I often talk with clients about honoring the body’s signals, noticing when we’re tired, when our energy dips, or when life feels heavier than usual. Fall and winter can bring that up naturally. The darker days slow our rhythms. We might crave more sleep, comfort food, quiet nights in. Instead of fighting that, what if we listened to it?

Our bodies are cyclical, just like the seasons. Yet our culture often teaches us to stay in “summer mode” year-round, busy, bright, and productive. When we try to live that way, burnout isn’t far behind. The truth is that our nervous systems need downtime. We need space to rest, grieve, reflect, and recharge.

That’s what “wintering” is really about, creating room to pause and listen.

How to Practice “Wintering”

Here are some gentle ways to take the message of Wintering into the months ahead:

1. Give yourself permission to rest.
   Rest doesn’t need to be earned. It’s not something you get only after finishing your to-do list. If you’re tired, physically, mentally, or emotionally, let that be enough reason to slow down.
2. Create small rituals of comfort.
   Light a candle. Make tea. Read before bed. These small acts tell your body, “I’m safe, I’m cared for, I’m slowing down.” Rituals like these can anchor us when everything else feels uncertain.
3. Tune into your body’s cues.
   Are you clenching your jaw? Feeling tense or foggy? Skipping meals because you’re too busy? These are signs your body is trying to get your attention. Try checking in throughout the day: “What do I need right now?” Sometimes the answer is as simple as water, a walk, or a few deep breaths.
4. Redefine productivity.
   This season, measure success not by how much you do, but by how well you tend to yourself. Rest can be productive. Stillness can be restorative. Slowing down can help you come back stronger.
5. Allow emotions to surface.
   Wintering often brings up feelings we’ve tucked away. Instead of rushing to fix or explain them, try sitting with them. Journal, talk to a trusted person, or bring them into therapy. Emotional winters are opportunities for healing and growth.

The Gift of Slowing Down

Reading Wintering reminds me that our hardest seasons can also be our most transformative. When we allow ourselves to retreat, to rest without guilt, we often find clarity and compassion waiting underneath the noise.

So, as we move into these colder months, I invite you to practice your own version of wintering. Let yourself sleep a little longer, say no a little more, and listen a little deeper. Your body already knows what it needs, the work is simply learning to trust it.