The Dark Side of Some Religious Teachings

For some people, religion or spirituality is a deep source of comfort when hardship strikes. Perhaps you were led to believe in and follow a higher power who is all-loving and accepting, one who you can turn to in times of trouble for support, insight, and understanding. Maybe you feel secure in the belief there is a bigger plan for your life. Perhaps, according to your spiritual beliefs, difficulty is intended to teach you something meaningful about your faith, your relationship with your higher power, or your relationship with those around you.

Unfortunately, many others experience religious and spiritual teachings that deliver mostly guilt, shame, and fear – teachings used as tools to control and manipulate. Religious trauma occurs when religious systems or persons persistently reinforce traumatizing messages (particularly messaging that invalidate a person’s experience or identity). They also may occur when these systems and persons do not support someone during a traumatic time.

In my experience personally and professionally, religious messaging concerning the innate sinfulness of humans, the heavy emphasis on rule following without question or curiosity, and the threat of eternal damnation can be deeply problematic. These messages are particularly problematic because they are often delivered in childhood — the most sensitive period of cognitive, emotional, and identity development. I have seen the immeasurable distress of clients and friends who believe they are being punished for something they have done, have not done correctly, or have not done at all. The foundational religious teaching that humans are, in essence, bad, has fundamentally eliminated any possibility for self-compassion, self-acceptance, and peace. When one’s cognitive and emotional foundations are shaped by messages of fear, shame, and punishment, a person’s inclination will often be to assume they are getting what they deserve and are to blame for many of life’s hardships, even when those hardships are completely outside of their control.

I believe it is normal and natural as humans to seek understanding and reasoning for why difficult or traumatic events occur. As a counselor, it is my role to travel with clients on their journeys of religious or spiritual reflection, redefinition, or redirection. Examining one’s own beliefs can be very daunting because even questioning spiritual teachings may have been framed as sinful or as a rejection of the higher power. In addition, there is the possibility of loss or backlash from one’s faith community, which may even include rejection by family members.

Research shows much of the effectiveness of counseling and therapy comes from the relationship between the client and the therapist. Core to this relationship is openness, positive regard for the client, and a distinct lack of moral judgment on the part of counselor. This can be profoundly healing for clients as they navigate their questions and fears about where spirituality fits in their lives.

If you are struggling with religious trauma, reach out to Greenway Therapy and schedule a session. We look forward to supporting you on your personal journey of healing.