Why Am I So Stressed and Overwhelmed?

We are so overwhelmed and overstimulated in the world we live in! We are constantly having to make choices in varying degrees. We decide what we wear every day and what we eat every day. We also have bigger decisions to make like what type of insurance to purchase or what type of car to drive. Things like this can make us feel dysregulated and out of control. If you have had any type of trauma or bad thing happen to you, it can compound those feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed.

So what exactly is regulation and why is it so important for us? Regulation involves the capacity to effectively manage experiences on several levels: cognitive, emotional, physiological, and behavioral. We often learn our regulation skills from our caregiver. If we do not learn adequate skills to calm down as a child,  it becomes difficult for us to be calm as we get older. If you are experiencing this, it would be great to reach out to a therapist. I work in O’Fallon, Illinois.  I also work with families to help build regulation skills in children via child therapy. 

Being able to stay regulated depends on several factors. Are you able to figure out how you are feeling in the moment? Are you able to manage the emotion you’re feeling? Are you able to understand how your thoughts, feelings and behaviors interact with one another? Do you have the skills to bring yourself up when you’re feeling down OR bring yourself down when you are feeling a little too high? And lastly, are you able to communicate your feelings to others? 

So what can you do to become regulated? Yoga and Mindfulness are great practices to help connect our body with our mind. Yoga gives us a chance to connect your breathing with movement. When the body and mind begin to work together it helps your stress system work together, on the same page, to get out that feeling of stress and anxiety. A great mindful activity is 5-4-3-2-1. In this practice you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. By utilizing all 5 senses we are able to, once again, connect the body with mind, calming your stress system. 

It is very important to remember that being regulated is dependent on all your basic needs being met. It will be extremely hard to stay regulated if you are tired or hungry. This is a great tip for dealing with children who are being unusually dysregulated and stressed over very small mishaps. Check in with yourself or your child to see if you/they need a nap or a snack. 

If you are tired of constantly feeling overwhelmed there is help! If you are struggling with naming your emotions and communicating those feelings please reach out to me! I am a child therapist in O’Fallon, Illinois. I love to work with adults to help target things (like regulation skills) that they missed out on in childhood.