What is Narrative Therapy?

There are so many different styles of therapy, it can be overwhelming to find a therapist you like and will utilize an approach that would be a good fit for you. A personal favorite of mine that I have come back to time and time again is Narrative Therapy. The basic goal of this style of therapy is to empower the client to view themselves as the writer of their own story, and viewing it in a new light. At all times we are creating our own version of events in our mind and a personal narrative to go along with that. At certain times in life if you are feeling more insecure your narrative might be filled with more self deprecating statements like “I’m not good enough for this job, I’ll never get it” or “everyone sees and knows how weak I am”. Often a little fact checking can do the trick to put these negative thoughts at bay, but the underlying issue is how we are viewing the situation we are in. We all have met someone with an Eeyore style narrative – something is always wrong, there is no hope, and really no use in trying. We’ve all been Eeyore friends from time to time. When you are the friend looking from the outside in, you might feel that if they could just see things from a different perspective, they would recognize that there really is some hope in the world. In narrative therapy, we are trying to do just that. This style of therapy separates the person from their problems, giving space for them to view it in a different way, working to remove judgment and shame from the narrative.

The narratives in our mind shape how we view ourselves and the world around us. They range from how good a son/daughter we are, how desirable we are, how smart, interesting or accomplished we are. Some of these stories don’t even come from us originally; maybe a parent or partner told us something about ourselves that we really latched onto. Seeing these stories as our identities can keep us feeling stuck and hopeless. If your narrative is that I’m not near as smart as some of my other friends, it may keep you from pursuing higher education or complex jobs as an effort to protect ourselves from shame and disappointment. While that may feel safest in the moment, it is ultimately a way of self sabotaging ourselves out of the life we desire. If you’ve been feeling stuck in your own narrative, it’s never too late to begin challenging how you view yourself and your life. Start with the small act of noticing. What story did I tell myself when that person cut me off in traffic, when my boss made an odd comment, when my partner didn’t seem to be listening to me? Are you automatically catastrophizing, seeing others behavior as malicious intent, or downplaying your own role and value? We are not fixed beings stuck in the way we see things. If you are ready to challenge your own narrative, starting with therapy can be a great push to begin the work. You are far more capable and deserving than your own narrative may allow you to see.